i don't know how to roller-skate--i never learned how--i guess i was too uncoordinated for things like that. But maybe that isn't what makes me jealous. Yes, i wish i could be as fast as the boy. i want to be able to skate, skate hard, as fast as i can and ditch my loneliness in the dust. But lonely isn't all that bad. So i can't be jealous of that.
But, Pink Azaleas- they are so delicate.
and maybe that's what makes me jealous. that i can't be delicate, like azaleas, and Naomi added them to her poem.
Maybe i'm jealous that i'm not a poet.
But i shouldn't be jealous because of something that i could change if i tried.
So maybe i'm jealous that i didn't write about escaping loneliness first.
Because i'm an expert about it.
But maybe again i'm jealous of the whole azaleas thing.
Because flowers bloom on their own.
They don't look at the other flowers growing and say- they are better than me.
They just bloom.
They aren't jealous, they just bloom.
Loneliness is second nature to me.
But i didn't run from it.
i embraced it.
I am jealous of the Azaleas thing.
Why can't i just bloom?
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